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Sujata Prasad Mentioned in Nursing Demand


New Jersey nurse practitioner Sujata Prasad was mentioned in a news article covering the demand for nurses in 2022. The article discusses the high demand for nurses and the reason for the growth of the industry. Sujata Prasad shared her experience on how to improve your career in nursing.

The demand for nurse practitioners in 2022

For many reasons, the demand for registered nurses and family nurse practitioners is high. Nursing is experiencing a double effect from the aging population. Both nurses and patients are getting older. Many nurses are approaching retirement age and patients have increased healthcare needs. In a recent article, Sujata Prasad, an NJ nurse practitioner stated that being trained in a variety of health care settings is a great way to improve your career in nursing.

By 2030, 4.7 million nurses worldwide are set to retire. This, combined with the current nursing shortage and the aging Baby Boomer generation, means that 10.6 million nurses will be needed by 2030.

The BLS predicts that the United States will have 194,500 open positions for registered nurses each year from 2030, as nurses retire and the demand for nurses increases. This represents an increase of 9% in registered nursing jobs through 2030. This equates to 276,800 additional nursing jobs over the next few years.

The BLS predicts that nurse practitioners (NPs), despite the positive outlook on registered nurses’ employment prospects, will see a significant increase in demand. The BLS projects an overall increase in employment between 2020 and 2030. This is significantly higher than the average for all occupations. According to the BLS, this growth is due to:

  • A greater emphasis on preventative health
  • The aging baby-boom generation is driving demand for health care services
  • Increased use of team-based care models
  • Legislative changes that permit advanced practice registered nurses to more services
  • As primary sources of health care, nurse practitioners must be culturally aware.

Between 2020 and 2030, the BLS anticipates that there will be approximately 29,400 new openings each year for nurse practitioners, nurse midwives, and nurse anesthetists. When you consider retirement and other exits, this represents 121,400 additional jobs for advanced practice registered nurses–114,900 are projected to be for nurse practitioners–over the next ten years.

About Sujata Prasad

Sujata Prasad is a nurse practitioner in New Jersey with over 10 years of experience. She practiced in a  variety of health care settings including treating patients with a variety of illnesses and injuries. A background in functional medicine provides a broader understanding of the interconnected complexity of diseases and the underlying causes.

UC Health Trauma Surgeon and U.S. Army Reserve Colonel Jay A. Johannigman Honored as Hometown Hero During Opening Day


Jay Johannigman, a Cincinnati Bell Hometown Hero, is honored during opening day. He is a Colonel in the United States Air Force Reserve and a Professor of Surgery at the UC College of Medicine. He also heads the division of trauma, critical care, and surgery.

Dr. Jay A. Johannigman
Dr. Jay A. Johannigman honored as Hometown Hero During Opening Day

What does a First Responder do?

A First Responder is an employee from an emergency service who is most likely to be the first to arrive at an emergency scene and help. They will be recognized in the middle of every Reds home game. First Responders will be selected based upon availability and nominations. 

About Dr. Jay A. Johannigman

Jay Johannigman is a surgeon at Knight Aerospace, a pioneer in advanced aeromedical transport, and an adjunct professor of surgery, and has been practicing as trauma and critical-care surgeon for over 25 years. After receiving his MD at Case Western Reserve University, he began his professional career. After completing his postdoctoral training, Dr. Jay Johannigman was already commissioned as a 2nd lieutenant in the USAF Reserves. He returned to active duty in the role of staff surgeon and medical director at Wilford Hall USAF Medical Center’s Surgical Critical Care Service.

After completing his active duty duty duty obligation, Dr. Johannigman was appointed Director of the Institute of Military Medicine and the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. From 2001 to 2017, he was also the Director of Trauma and Surgical Critical Care at University Hospital in Cincinnati. He would remain active in civilian and military medicine for the next several years. Dr. Johannigman was the founder of the Cincinnati Center for the Sustainment of Trauma and Readiness Skills. Cincinnati CSTARS was established in 2001 and continues to be one of the five Military-Civilian Strategic Partnerships (Military-Civilian Strategic Partnerships) in the United States.

Dr. Jay A. Johannigman

He split his time over the next 20 years between military and academic roles. Over the next 18 years, he would be deployed to combat theatres in Iraq and Afghanistan seven times. He also used the war experience to translate the lessons from war into civilian trauma centers in the United States and at his home institution.

Dr. Johannigman was a trauma leader at the state, national, and local levels. He served as the Ohio Committee on Trauma State Chair as well as the Region Chief for the American College of Surgeons Committee on Trauma.

He has been a military consultant for the Office of the Surgeon of the Air Force and a founding member of the Committee on Tactical Combat Casualty Care. Jay Johannigman, in addition to his professional and academic experience, has been active in the professional community as a member of many organizations and as a medical researcher. Nearly 100 peer-reviewed papers were published by him, including research in the areas of mechanical ventilation, en route treatment, and whole blood utilization. He is still active in clinical and basic research.

Learn more https://www.jayjohannigmancincinnati.com/

Rick Vermillion shares low-maintenance front yard landscaping tips to add curb appeal to your home in Colorado Springs


Rick Vermillion is sharing ways to spruce up your curb appeal with low-maintenance landscaping ideas for your front yard. A recent study has shown that landscaping can increase your home’s perceived value by up to 15%. Your front yard is what people see when they pass your home or come up to it.

Colorado Springs residents who want to have the best yard on the block without the upkeep of regular maintenance, these projects can be completed in a weekend and are affordable.

Decorative Stone

A lush lawn looks great, but it is very hard work. Decorative stone is virtually maintenance-free in Colorado Springs and other surrounding areas. To have the best backyard on the block, you don’t necessarily need to be a gardener. Rick Vermillion and his team will lay natural stone that acts as a weed repellant, so you won’t need to gas up your lawnmower again. It is a great solution for decorating areas where your grass won’t grow. Your landscape will be beautiful no matter the season. Stone is a very popular choice for Colorado Springs residents. You can also choose colors that match your home’s aesthetic.

Rick Vermillion Colorado Springs landscaping
Rick Vermillion and his team shared this recent project that was completed in Colorado Springs. The homeowners choose this decorative stone to match the aesthetics and provide a low-maintenance option year-round.

Installing solar lighting

Landscape lights are both solar-powered and affordable. You can pick the colors you like, place them near your walkway or border a garden and let them power up at night.

Rick Vermillion and his team of landscaping professionals can add unique features like lighting that recesses in walkways or faux rocks that blend seamlessly with the landscape with integrated lights.

Remodel a bed border

You can change the appearance of your flowerbeds simply by updating or refreshing their borders. Depending on your home’s style, you can use pre-made blocks, pavers, or natural stones.

Groundcovers can be used to hide inaccessible areas.

Landscapes can have many purposes. They can be used for shade, screens, windbreaks, or both. They can also be used as specimens, hedges, and barriers. Rick Vermillion and his team have created groups of trailing plants to cover any problem areas in your yard. Groundcovers are plants that grow low and cover the ground. Groundcovers can be used to prevent soil erosion, stabilize slopes, and provide seasonal flowering.

Groundcovers can grow in any kind of light, even partial shade.

Plant perennial shrubs directly in front of your house

Perennials require less maintenance each year. By not having to clean out and plant flower beds every year, homeowners can save time, money, energy, and effort. They won’t need to be replanted each year.

Perennial roots are good for soil structure as they remain in the soil and can be replanted every year. The roots help water flow more efficiently through the soil by channeling water. This is an advantage for perennials and other plants that live in the area.

Rick Vermillion suggests that you plant perennials for ground cover to retain soil moisture. These perennials can be planted in winter to protect the soil from the sun and cover it. Many perennials can easily be propagated through division and replanting.

Shade trees can be planted

You can make your home a more beautiful place by planting mature trees in your landscaping. Rick Vermillion says that shade trees can increase the value of your home, especially if you intend to sell it. Planting shade trees can make your front yard more attractive in the spring, summer, and fall, which are the most popular seasons for home buyers.

Hire a local landscaper

There are many benefits to hiring a local landscaping company. Not only will it make your yard stand out, but it can also provide follow-up visits and consultations.

Each area has its own soil, weather, requirements, and unique landscape. Rick Vermillion and his Colorado Springs landscaping professionals have been working with the same soil conditions for years. They are able to instantly assess the terrain and determine what is best. 

Get in touch with Rick Vermillion today to schedule a consultation

Dale Pinchot shares industry insight


Only 30% of people are successful over the long term in his industry, Dale Pinchot shares his tips for success.


In a recent article published on his personal blog, professional card player Dale Pinchot shares his tips for success at the beginner, intermediate, and professional levels.

He has competed in the tours around the world and credits his strategy to building invaluable skills in patience, problem-solving, the ability to read people, and money management.

Dale’s background in statistics and mathematics fueled his passion for understanding the nuances of mindset and stability. Beginning his career at an early age, Dale started to frequent Atlantic City. He quickly understood that his success stems from his ability to make informed decisions to maximize the expectation values of his actions.

In his recent articles, Dale covers how to increase win rate, avoid tilt, and professional tips. You can read about the topics Dale Pinchot covered in detail here.

To learn more about Dale Pinchot, please visit https://dalepinchot.com


Kenneth Watterworth of Westport Outlines 3 Benefits of Intumescent Fireproofing


Fireproofing is the process of making something incombustible or fire-resistant. This could include a whole structure, a particular material, or a few building components. This is a passive fire protection measure. Intumescent paint is a type of paint that can be used to fireproof commercial buildings. In this article, Pro-Tect, Inc. owner Kenneth Watterworth outlines 3 potential benefits of Intumescent fireproofing.

This type of paint is sometimes called fire-resistant paint. It allows designers and builders to add beautiful colors to certain structures, while also offering high resistance to heat. Intumescent paint is a safe and beautiful option for your space.

Intumescent paint can be used when conventional loose cellulose fireproofing isn’t possible. It is less thick than other options. To achieve that “oatmeal” finish, multiple thin coats are applied. To withstand the elements better, it can be coated with high-performance paint.

This product is preferred by engineers and designers for many reasons. Intumescent paint’s strong bond and coating allow for easy use in a variety of places. These benefits are not limited to safety. These are the top three reasons you should consider intumescent-fireproofing your commercial design project.

Intumescent paint helps prevent smoke and fire damage

Intumescent paint is a great way to prevent smoke and fire damage from spreading from items made of wood. It acts as an insulator and expands when exposed to extreme temperatures of around 200-250 degrees Celsius. It helps protect fixtures and structures from heat-related damage. The protective coating also helps to keep temperatures low and reduce the spread of burns, making it safer for those who are fighting a commercial building fire.

Kenneth Watterworth explains Intumescent paint is popular for warehouses and buildings in the manufacturing industry where there is more chance of a fire. It is important for protecting commercial buildings, restaurants, and offices from the possible effects of serious incidents. A company could rebuild its business if it invests a little more in intumescent painting.

Intumescent paint strengthens certain materials

Intumescent fireproofing can also be used to strengthen certain building materials. It has been shown to extend the structural life of steel while also protecting the material’s load-bearing ability. It protects the metal from temperature fluctuations that can lead to problems over time. This is especially important in commercial buildings.

Intumescent Paint Looks Great on Structural Steel

Intumescent paint is used by commercial painting companies for its beautiful finish. If you need to paint something right away, why not choose a high-quality material with many additional benefits? 

It is popular for people who are renovating buildings, fixtures, and other projects. It is available in many colors and can be used in both interior and outdoor applications.

You can also use intumescent paint on many different materials, including chipboard, bricks, stone, plaster, plasterboard, and metal. Fire-resistant paints are great for softwoods as well as hardwoods such as pine, cedar, and oak, Kenneth Watterworth added.

Examples of Intumescent Paint

Intumescent paint can be used in a variety of ways in commercial design. Intumescent paint can be used as a barrier to windows and doors or can even give an old steel or pipe a new look. It can be used in a variety of industrial settings, not just in a manufacturing environment.

Consider a project that involves the conversion of an old warehouse with exposed metalwork into retail space or a trendy new restaurant. Intumescent paint adds color to the space and strengthens it. This is both a win for the integrity of the structure as well as the design and beauty of the space.

Connecticut Fireproofing Company

Connecticut fireproofing company Pro-Tect, Inc. has 3 decades of success. Led by owner Kenneth Watterworth of Westport, CT, Pro-Tect is the largest fireproofing company in the state and prides itself on being both competitive and performing quality work. Pro-Tect is licensed fireproofing applicators for Cafco, Monokote, Albi, and various other fireproofing products.  We apply special coatings, waterproofing, sandblasting, chemical cleaning, and exterior coatings.

To learn more, please visit the website of Kenneth Watterworth.

Colorado Springs Marketer William Vermillion Explains Benefits of Keyword Research


Keyword research can provide valuable insights into what your target audience is searching for on Google. These search terms will help you to inform your content strategy and larger marketing strategy. In this article, William Vermillion of Colorado Springs shares insight on the benefit of Keyword research.

When conducting online research, people use keywords to find answers. You will get more traffic if your content is able to reach our audience through searches. You should therefore target those searches.

Additionally, Inbound marketing doesn’t allow us to create content that tells people what we want them to say. Instead, we should be creating content that people want to learn about. Our audience is coming to you.

All of this starts with keyword research.

Keyword research can have many benefits. The most popular are:

Marketing Trend Insight

Effective keyword research can give you insights into marketing trends and help you focus your content on the keywords and topics that are most relevant to your audience.

Traffic Growth

The best keywords are those that will be most relevant to the content you create. This will help you rank higher in search engine results and bring more visitors to your site.

Customer Acquisition

You can provide content to other professionals if your business is looking for it.

Research keywords to determine their popularity, search volume, and general intent. This will allow you to address the most common questions in your audience.

Keywords are not the same as exact-match algorithms.

Keywords vs. Topics

We hear more about how SEO has developed in the past 10 years and how important keywords have become to our ability to rank for the search terms people use every day.

While this may be true to a certain extent, it is not the best approach for SEO professionals. It’s not the keyword’s intent, but whether or not the content meets that intent.

However, keyword research does not have to be outdated. William Vermillion explains:

Keyword research can tell you which topics are most popular among your audience. Topics is the operative word here. By researching keywords with high searches per month you can identify topics and organize your content accordingly. These topics can then be used to determine which keywords you want to target.

To learn more about William Vermillion and the benefits of keyword research, please visit his website.

New Genetic Cause of Dystonia Revealed by Dimitri Krainc


Northwestern Medicine scientists have discovered a new genetic cause of dystonia, an incurable movement disorder, according to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation.

The disorder causes involuntary muscle contraction and repetitive or twisting movements, and these findings broaden the horizon of potential therapies, according to Dimitri Krainc, MD, Ph.D., chair and the Aaron Montgomery Ward Professor of Neurology and co-senior author of the study.

Dimitri Krainc

Dimitri Krainc, MD, Ph.D., the Aaron Montgomery Ward Professor and chair of The Ken and Ruth Davee Department of Neurology, was co-senior author of a study published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation.


“These results identified an important molecular link between presynaptic dysfunction and dystonia, suggesting that restoring the precision of synaptic release pharmacologically may represent a promising therapeutic angle to treat dystonia and other hyperkinetic movement disorders,” said Krainc, who is also director of the Simpson Querrey Center for Neurogenetics.

Brain trauma, stroke, oxygen deprivation, or drug reactions can all cause dystonia, but early-onset cases are often caused by genetic mutations. Causal mutations in more than 30 genes have been linked to dystonia, operating through a variety of mechanisms including aberrant dopaminergic signaling or lysosomal dysfunction.

In the current study, Northwestern Medicine scientists identified a novel genetic cause: three mutations in the gene TSPOAP1 were found in seven subjects from three unrelated families. Recreating this mutation in mouse models, the investigators discovered that mutations in this gene cause dysfunction in presynaptic neurotransmitter release machinery.

In healthy synapses, the arrival of an action potential to presynaptic terminals is associated with the opening of voltage-gated calcium channels. The subsequent influx of calcium in neurons triggers the release of neurotransmitters, facilitating synaptic transmission. However, the TSPOAP1 mutations found in dystonia patients interfered with this process.

One class of mutations was loss-of-function mutations, which caused reduced expression of the TSPOAP1 protein in patient brains. TSPOAP1 codes for a scaffolding protein that helps correctly localize critical components of the presynaptic terminal, including the voltage-gated calcium channels. This is essential to ensure that synaptic transmission happens in a timely and precise manner, according to Niccolo Mencacci, MD, PhD, instructor in the Ken and Ruth Davee Department of Neurology Division of Movement Disorders and lead author of the study.

Calcium influx in neurons was abnormally increased in neurons expressing one of the mutations, causing dystonia identified in this study.

“When the protein is not present, like in neurons of patients with TSPOAP1 mutations, the correct localization of the calcium channels is disrupted and their opening in response to action potentials and neurotransmitter release becomes less frequent and precise,” Mencacci said.

Surprisingly, another identified mutation was actually a gain-of-function mutation, which increased the binding of the TSPOAP1 protein to calcium channels resulting in increased release of neurotransmitters.

“In general, too much or too little neurotransmitter release caused by TSPOAP1 mutations are both bad for neuronal activity and are able to cause dystonia,” Mencacci said.

While these findings add to the variety of known genetic and mechanistic pathways that cause dystonia, Mencacci said that the end result of this mutation is consistent with previous findings.

“The genes implicated in genetic forms of dystonia are involved in a broad variety of biological functions, but it is possible that they may all eventually converge on a few downstream mechanisms, like abnormal synaptic plasticity,” Mencacci said.

More study is needed to understand whether presynaptic dysfunction caused by TSPOAP1 mutations affect synaptic plasticity in a manner similar to other forms of genetic dystonia, but it is a distinct possibility, Mencacci said.

There is no cure or disease-modifying therapy for dystonia, though these findings may open new opportunities, according to the authors. Mencacci said he plans to examine whether aberrant presynaptic transmission is observed in mouse models of other forms of dystonia. Additionally, identifying presynaptic dysfunction as a key disease mechanism for dystonia may provide a new means to pharmacologically treat dystonia, possibly through one of several already-developed drugs that are known to improve this type of defect.

“This is something we are keen on testing,” Mencacci said.

This work is supported by National Institutes of Health grant R37 NS096241, the Chica and Heinz Schaller Stiftung award, NARSAD Young Investigator award DFG1158-S02N, Estonian Research Council grants PUT355, PRG471 and PUTJD827, and German Academic Exchange Service (DAAD) award 57451854.

New Genetic Cause of Dystonia Revealed by Dimitri Krainc


Raleigh Realtor Gary Kevin Coats Shares How to Avoid Foreclosure


Most owners who lose their homes in foreclosure never thought it might happen to them. It can only happen to the people that get sick, laid off, have an accident, that kind of thing. In this article, Gary Kevin Coats of Raleigh, NC shares his thoughts on high-interest rates causing foreclosure.

So you may think Foreclosure, That won’t happen to me. No way. After peaking in 2010, the foreclosure rate has been steadily falling. The lower foreclosure rates are assisted by the government-imposed foreclosure moratorium, a mortgage forbearance program, imposed during the pandemic.

Data from real estate data analytics firm ATTOM Data Solutions revealed that lenders repossessed 2,634 U.S. properties through completed foreclosures in February 2022, which is a rise of 70% from last year (though it’s still down 45% from last month). 

A few years ago, the state was been flooded with forms of financing which permit buyers to buy homes that were once unaffordable. The essential deal was this: You purchase now, pay lower payments each month, and then within five years sell at a big profit or refinance.

Truth is, it’s been a good ride. Many of us have followed the formula and made a lot of cash. But like musical chairs, you know that a bunch of people will be stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Why is that a problem?

Falling prices aren’t an issue for those with fixed-rate loans, except for a lot of borrowers with the newest forms of low-ball financing, falling prices can be financially lethal.

Imagine that you just bought a property a few years ago. It made sense to buy that dream home with a $400,000 interest-only loan at 5.6 percent, a mortgage amount that covered 100 percent of the purchase price.

Everything is good for the first 5 years. Monthly payments were $1,867 plus taxes and insurance. But after five years, the loan automatically converted to a one-year ARM

After five years not only does the rate go up, the mortgage bill now includes the expense of monthly principal payments to reduce the loan balance. The monthly cost for principal and interest? It’s now $2,943. Taxes and insurance are again extra.

“Those low-payment loans that looked so good a few years ago are going into their second phase,” says Gary Kevin Coats. “Homeowners are eager to sell at higher prices. To date in 2022, the median listing home price in Charlotte was $370K, an 8.8% increase year-over-year.”

Cashing in on high real estate prices is an option for increased monthly payments. However, the price of the next house you purchase will also be inflated. 

Over the past few years, the sunbelt has seen a steady price increase. The average home price in the Raleigh metro is $391,444 in 2022, an increase of about 20% YOY, according to Zillow. Investors have been buying properties due to their economic growth potential. Charlotte has seen a 5-year annual projected household growth of 1.7% in 2022.

The real estate market has ups and downs. If you wait to sell the price may become less attractive. Not all markets have seen double-digit growth. Sacrifices need to be made in order to sell in a down market. Contributions at closing such as new carpets, new kitchens, moving allowances, etc.

But selling also may not be an option. Selling in a down market can cause increase the chances of bankruptcy. Additionally, the sale of personal property is not tax-deductible.

What can you do to avoid being a foreclosure statistic?

“Act now,” says Gary Kevin Coats of Raliegh, NC. “Don’t wait for the hammer to fall. If you see n increase in rates and unfordable payments in your future, refinance to a long-term, fixed-rate loan before your credit report shows any late or missed payments. Call your lender and see if your adjustable-rate mortgage has a conversion option. Because conversion is a loan modification and not new financing, conversion can be quick and cheap.”

It makes sense to sell now if your property cannot be refinanced and lower payments are not an option. You can move to a less-expensive home with reduced debt, lower monthly costs, and fixed-rate financing. Moving is a way to avoid foreclosure and dodge bankruptcy — two events no property owner should experience.

About Gary Kevin Coats

Gary Kevin Coats has worked in the redevelopment of underutilized properties in the Raleigh, NC area. He is the constructions operation director at Coats Custom Homes.

To learn more about Gary Kevin Coats, please visit his website.





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Seena Nassiri Helps Determine the Right Type of Housing Loan Interest Rate for Your Mortgage


When you are applying for a mortgage loan, the first thing that you would most likely be looking for is the lowest housing loan interest rate that a bank loan manager will present to you. There will be times when you will be presented with more than one set of figures. If you don’t do your research regarding your interest rate options beforehand, you will most likely be confused as to why you are being presented with more than just one and it will be very hard to listen to the manager’s explanation because you will be more focused on the figures in front of you. For this reason, it is very important that Seena Nassiri educates you regarding the most popular housing loan interest rate structures among those shopping for mortgage loans.

A SOR or Swap Offer Rate pegged housing loan interest rate also relies on the performance of the world economy. However, it is considered to be much more volatile as compared to other rates because SOR is based on FOREX. FOREX rates fluctuate more which is why SOR rates tend to go up and down more often. But one of the main reasons why some people choose the SOR is because since it is generally unstable, the rates can go down at any time.

Seena Nassiri highlights another popular housing loan interest rate choice among mortgage loan shoppers is the fixed interest rate. This mortgage loan interest rate does not change no matter how well the status of the world economy is. One advantage of this interest rate structure is the fact that unlike SOR pegged structures, those who choose a fixed rate will not be affected when the world market soars. However, because of that, homeowners who are under the fixed interest rate structure will also not benefit from low rates when the performance of the world economy is favorable. For this reason, it is very important that you consider all possibilities before you decide to sign up for a fixed mortgage interest rate.

Therefore, picking the best housing loan interest rate is not so easy.

Knowing your options can very well be the difference between savings and additional expenses. Always remember to carefully choose among several interest rates being offered to you before making a decision and take your financial capability in mind. It would not be good to have your own home only to be foreclosed in the future because of your inability to meet the mortgage payments. Seena Nassiri points out to check with your loan manager or a financial expert and inquire as to the best housing loan rate you can take advantage of without leaving a big dent in your savings account.

Need To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship?


Do you think you’re in a bad relationship?

Maybe you do, maybe you don’t.  I think many people stay in bad relationships thinking, hoping, and feeling things will get better.  Many people, both men, and women stay in difficult relationships hoping things will change.  They even hope they can change the other person.

Before I address any of those concerns let’s take a look at some clues that your relationship may not be in the best condition.

One of the biggest offenders that could cause any relationship to go downhill quickly is…


Jealousy in some cases can be very flattering, but there is a thin line between controlling and jealousy.

If your partner is reading your mail, calling you uncontrollably when you’re out with friends, or checking your phone messages there should be a big flashing light going off for you.  If your partner is preventing you from going out with friends, causes you to second guess everything you do, and causes YOU to modify your behavior so they don’t get pissed – then you should be taking a closer look at your relationship.

One-Way Behavior Modification

Do you find yourself trying to change things about YOU to make your partner happy? If you’re making changes so that your partner doesn’t get pissed or to appease them, maybe you should take a closer look at the relationship.  In my opinion that’s NOT unconditional love going both ways.  That’s one-way love, YOU loving them enough to change but not the other way around.

Think about it, even the smallest changes you make for your partner could impact your life, your friends, and even your work.  That’s because your relationship isn’t in a silo.  It’s part of your life and influences everything you do and how you come across to others.

Name Calling

Being called names can be extremely hurtful, and when your partner is constantly putting you down verbally in front of your friends and family members or even when you’re alone can cause a great relationship to sour quickly.

Do you really want to be called names by someone you love?  Of course not.  But in some relationships, name-calling is common because they know what your insecurities are and can push your buttons this way.

According to Ranya Al Huthaili, the host of the Beauty from Ashes podcast, “In my opinion, this type of behavior is uncalled for and not necessary in ANY relationship. If your relationship is so bad one of you has to get vicious and start using verbal abuse, maybe both of you should take a closer look.”

The only reason for this type of behavior is to HURT.  And if you’re partner is purposefully hurting you, why do you want to stay?

These are all major signs of a relationship in turmoil.

Now, let me be clear, bad relationships will have good times too. And those good times may cloud all of the nasty that’s being done.  But it’s a cycle.  Some days it’s good.  Some day’s it’s difficult.  Should relationships be that difficult to deal with?

Will you have fights and disagreements?  Sure.  Will there be times of silence?  Possibly.  But if the above actions are a regular occurrence, then maybe you should give your relationship extra thought.  You should look deep inside and start analyzing the facts of the situation and if you are willing to deal with them for LIFE.

So that comes to the question – Should you work the problems out or simply walk away?

First, let’s look at…

How Our Minds Work

Consider that we always want to be right.  That’s why when we buy something we’ll do everything we can to prove to our friends, family, and anyone who will listen to why making that purchase was the right thing to do.  We justify it.

The same thing happens in relationships.  We don’t want to believe that we were wrong in making such an important decision.  We may think… “I love this person.  How could they be this way?  Maybe they will change.”  You may even find yourself giving yourself reasons why your partner does what he does.  You also may find that your partner wants to be right in the relationship.  They don’t think they’re doing anything wrong.  Everything is YOU.

I have to ask…

What would you do if a coworker, a stranger, or a friend treated you the way you’re partner is treating you?  Would you put up with it?  I would bet that you’ve put up with less from friends and coworkers before.  So why does your partner get a “freebie” to treat you like this?

Consider that it’s because you don’t want to be wrong about them or you’re using them as a crutch or reason for your own shortcomings.

You’re probably shooting me the bird, cursing me up one side and down the other, but consider that you’re holding on so that you can blame them for when things go wrong or don’t get done in your life.

Gosh, how could anyone expect you to do what you say when you’re dealing with relationship issues.

Most people have sympathy for these situations.  They give you lots of rope because they don’t want to upset you.

Now it’s time to talk about the big subject…

Changing Your Partner Or Yourself

Do you want to change your partner?  Do you really want to change?

I don’t think “changing” per se is the best plan.  Changing someone is like putting the icing on a cow patty.  No matter what you do, it’s still a cow patty.

Your partner may change and modify their behavior but will still be harboring the feelings and resent you for making them change.

But consider that you can’t make anyone do anything.  Their actions and everything they do – the name-calling, the jealousy, the getting you to change – all come from inside of them.  It’s their emotions and the story they’re making up that causes them to do the things they do.  It ultimately has nothing to do with you.

Let me give you an example.  Jon was cheated on by three previous women he dated and fell in love with.  Each event piled onto each other and now Jon is very jealous of everyone he dates.  He’s become so controlling he prevents his partner from going out with friends, attending events without him, or even participating in activities she enjoys.  He’s fearful that his partner will cheat on him.

You see, everything there has to do with Jon and nothing to do with his partner.  But when we’re in a sour relationship we look at what we can do to make it better, change ourselves, and modify our behavior.  Doing that might make matters worse.  How can it make it worse?  Because you don’t get to who you truly are.  You’re living a lie.

So how do you save your relationship?

It starts with understanding that, if your partner is treating you badly, there is nothing for you to change.  It’s time to ask your partner to have an open and authentic conversation.  Ask your partner to be willing to do deep soul searching.  What you want to do is find out what caused your partner to do what he does.  It’s those past events that are more than likely causing them to act the way they do toward you.

Once you’re able to get at the core of what was causing that behavior, it’s time to acknowledge it and let it be.  Once your partner is aware of what he’s doing, he should be able to recognize it, catch himself and stop it.

Now, if things begin to change in your relationship, great.

But if they don’t and things keep going the way they’ve always done then maybe it’s time to call it quits.

You have to determine for yourself whether you want to put up with this behavior or find a relationship that works for who you are.  No matter what the situation, to me, verbal abuse and this type of behavior is on par with physical abuse.  It can be just as damaging.

If your partner is unwilling to do some deep soul searching and uncover what it is that’s triggering these responses, then it may not be worth staying in the relationship.  Then again, maybe it is worth staying.

Let’s face it, some relationships are NOT worth saving.  Some ARE worth saving.  YOU have to make that choice.

Ultimately the ball is in your court.  You get to say who you want to be with.  You get to say whether you stay in the relationship.  You get to say how your life goes.